The struggle is real. People Pleasing
We have talked about my struggle with anxiety and while I could write a few more posts on anxiety I’d like to take a little time to chat about people pleasing.
Are you a people pleaser?
I think I have been a people pleaser my whole life. I don’t want to let people down. I don’t want to tell someone no when they ask me to complete a task for them that could easily be done themselves.
Why do people ask you to do things for them?
One: maybe it’s because they are lazy.
Two: they are really good at making excuses.
Three: even though less likely, they really do need your help.
I’m not talking about tasks that are hard, that need a trained individual. I’m talking about tasks that most humans could accomplish if they really wanted to do it.
Here’s what I’ve learned about being a people please and why I’m trying to say no more often.
Being a people pleaser really is kind of hard. Saying yes to someone even if it doesn’t help us or benefit us is actually hurting us.
How is it hurting us?
This is how I feel…
I sometimes feel like I’m being taken advantage of. I feel like if people stopped being so lazy and put in half as much effort as a people pleaser they’d get so much more done in their life.
Waiting for someone else to complete a task because they do it better, which is an excuse by the way, is just dumb.
If you didn’t put the effort in to text /call your friend or go see your friend, would you ever see them? Are you the only one kindling that relationship? Why are you the only one putting in the effort? If you stopping kindling it would there still be a relationship? Would you still see or talk to that friend?
This is what I am saying here. It takes a lot more energy to worry about someone else and their problems than it does to simply say no.
Now, I’m not saying don’t ever help out a friend or a family member. I’m just simply saying, it’s okay to say no. To focus more on you and what helps you. Does it feel better to not have a task at hand that doesn’t help you. Or a project that is just a burden to your schedule?
Say no more often. It’s okay.